Below is a story of a local mother who had an abortion when she was 17 years old. Her story is much like the stories of the 7,000 mothers who had an abortion last year and sadly familiar to the stories of 7,000 mothers next year.
"I got pregnant when I was just 17 years old. I was scared and alone. When I told my
family, they told me that if I had my baby, I would have to raise him on the streets,
because I would not have their support.
I was so heartbroken when I went to the clinic; I was detached. The memory is almost
like watching a movie. I can see myself pulling up to the clinic and walking in. My only
clear memory of that day is when I was on that table and looking at that machine
behind the doctor. The cramps I felt along with that horrible sound of my baby being
vacuumed out of me. That is a sound that will forever ring in my ears. At the time I was
told that my baby was just tissue, not formed into a baby yet. I didn’t know any better.
But now, after having 3 beautiful girls, I know that at 16 weeks my son was sucking his
thumb, moving around and could even feel pain. It is this knowledge that makes it the
For years, I have pushed the pain down deep. Every time I would start to feel pain or
sorrow, I would just push it back down. I figured that after what I did, I deserved that
It was only 1 year after my son should have been born that I had my first daughter. I
was still very detached. I had the hardest time bonding with her. I really thought that I
didn’t want to get close to her, because if I did, it would hurt too bad when she was
taken from me or worse, died. I thought, how could God possibly let me keep that
precious baby girl when I just murdered the first child that He had given to me? After
my second daughter was born, I went to the other extreme. I became over protective.
I didn’t want anyone other than me to drive them anywhere. What if they got into an
accident? I had a hard time leaving them with any one but family for fear they would be
I have also had a very hard time making close friends. I have always kept people at
arms length, afraid they would find out my secret shame and hate me. I kept my dirty
little secret for way too long. But, you see, it wasn’t until this past year that I realized
that the pain I have been pushing down for years, trying to forget my abortion, was
hindering me from creating any kind of lasting bond with anyone, even my own
children. The crying became more frequent, and I couldn’t push the pain down any
longer. It just wouldn’t go away anymore. A friend of mine shared her story with me
and told me she had found healing through a retreat and Bible study. It was then, that
I, too, found healing. Through my retreat and Bible study I was able to completely give
it all over to God and truly accept His forgiveness. I felt so free. If you would have
asked me last year if I would be sharing my story I would have told you that you were
crazy! But my prayer is that my story will help others find the healing that my friend
and so many others have been able to find. If just one finds healing then speaking up is
worth it. And that is why I am 'Silent No More'."